Thank you for your patience

I wanted to come and say thank you to all of you for being so patient with me and my vanishing act. I also wanted to give you an explanation as to why I haven't been posting.

My awesome friend Dez who designed my original banner offered to help me revamp the look of the entire blog. She did an amazing job and worked so hard on everything. For some reason I can not see anything I have previously posted. I have tried everything I know to do to fix it, NOTHING I have done has fixed it. I am posting this hoping that you all can see it even though I can't. I admit I got a little discouraged and put it to the back burner for a bit. I am going to figure it out though even if it kills me. I miss posting, I miss researching things, I miss giving my reviews and most of all I miss you. So my promise is that by next week I WILL be back.

I will also admit due to some personal stuff I got in a funk. Sometimes being an adult, a single mom, and master of the universe can get to be too much and you just have to take a break to get things and yourself back in line. I do have to say that I have some of the most amazing people in my life (they mostly live in my computer) that not only accept me at my best but also accept me at my worst. They have supported, encouraged, and listened to me whine. They always know the perfect things to say and do, and even though they coddle me they also will tell me to suck it up when it is needed. So to those people who say that people you talk to online are not true friends I say this...You have not met the right people, not everyone out in the virtual world are some sort of fake, scamming freaks. There are real people out there who have huge hearts, people who are just as real as you and I and if you take the time you will find them too. 

Part of my funk has been due to seeing the ugly side of some people online. Unnecessary attacks on people, outright lies about people, drama that could make for top soap operas and it makes me sad. Now I know that some may say that I could be considered guilty of this myself with a few of the posts I have made and also my involvement in the Glittersniffer debacle. The posts I have made on the companies were not gossip, they were not attacks, they were posted to help educate and inform my readers. With any post I make that involves a company, or individual I research and research some more, especially with posts that may be seen as negative. Making a not so stellar post is not something I take lightly, I don't just grab a piece of information and run with it, because behind those company name are real people. My involvement with Glittersniffer is also something I do not take lightly, it is something that is very personal to me. I am not just someone who heard rumors, jumped on the bandwagon and gets enjoyment out of what has happened. I will be making a post with my story and feelings about the many rises and falls of Glittersniffer. 

I am going to share a link with you of a post I think all of us need to be reminded of. Click here. The post was written by a friend, she sums up things rather nicely, thank you Amanda.

I have several reviews coming of some awesome companies/products including Evil Shades, Haus of Gloi, Darling Clandestine, and a few others. I am also taking part of the Team Pink Eye charity events during October to help raise money towards cancer research. I am so excited about this, it is going to be a month filled with awesome bloggers and companies coming together to not only have fun, do giveaways, but to also educate on breast cancer. I have to start trying to find some pink makeup and other awesome pink things to share reviews of with you. So break out your pink stuff and help us start saving the world one booby at a time.

I am gonna go now, but I leave you with this...

I have a respect for manners as such, they are a way of dealing with people you don't agree with or like.
                                                                Margaret Mead

You May Say I'm a Thinker

Someone once told me I am a philosopher and even today I wonder if that was a compliment or not. I can tell you from years of experience that the way my mind works is not always a blessing, sometimes I actually think it is a curse. Lately I have found myself thinking of my past. If you care to take a trip into my life then buckle up because it can be a slippery ride.

Well let me start with saying thank you for staying with me, I appreciate that you are interested enough to stay. 

I have had a lot of people on my mind lately, thinking of how different my life would have been without them being a part of it. Mostly thinking of how grateful I am to have had them be a part of my life, how I am the person I am today because of them.

My Grandma Nona who was my maternal grandmother. She passed away when I was just a few months old so I never knew her. My mom talks about her mom a lot, before my Grandpa Cook passed away I would just sit and listen to him and my mom talk about her. I know there are those who will disagree with my feelings but I have to say how I feel. my Grandpa Cook loved my grandma with all his heart, I heard it in his voice, I saw it in his face when he talked about her. He called my mom every single year on my grandmas birthday and they would talk about her for hours. I have learned through stories that my Grandma was a hard working woman who was full of love and life. She was one who tried to take care of everyone, and she had no problem stopping on the side of the road to pick a huge bouquet of wildflowers lol. I wonder if I am anything like her, do I have any of her qualities?

Garfield (Uncle G) was one of my dad's best friends. He was someone who also tried his best to take care of everyone, he had a heart of gold and always had a smile on his face and a laugh in his heart. I never got a chance to tell him how much I loved him or how much I appreciated the love and the many hours of lost sleep he had because of worrying about me. He always knew the right things to say to me even though sometimes it wasn't what I wanted to hear. I wish my kids had been older so that they could remember him, his laughter, and how much he loved us.

Jessica my friend, my partner in crime I miss you! We had so much fun together, even though sometimes we did things that were questionable it wasn't illegal. OK most of the time it wasn't illegal. Jess has a heart of gold and one of the strongest shoulders to lean on. Trust me I used it many times. She also has opinions for hours and she says what she thinks, and I love that about her. We spent endless hours together talking, laughing, crying, and eating. Thank you, I don't think I tell you enough how much your friendship means to me.

Kris Wolf what can I say about you? You are one of a very few people who made me feel like I was important. You are such an amazing person and I miss you like crazy, I miss eating your healthy food then going on junk food raids haha. You made me think outside of the box, you pushed me to be a better me without even realizing you were doing it. You were the one person who made me feel confident that I was good at my job at the Manor, you helped me fall in love with a job that I went into hating. To think I only agreed to working there to help my sister fill staff not because I wanted to. 

My sister Gena oh how you have been on my mind lately. Gena passed away when I was a teenager. I look at my girls and think of how much they are missing out not knowing her. She was a simple person and I mean that as in she was happy with what she had, she didn't need expensive things or money to make her happy. She didn't have the easiest life but I don't think I ever heard her complain. She was just as happy sitting on the front porch of a 100yr old farm house with no running water, an outhouse, and bathing in the swimming hole as she was living in an apartment with running water, electric, and a bathtub. Now that I think about it she may have been happier at that old farmhouse, picking berries, watching the storms, and baking in a toaster oven. This is a woman who even when she was so sick and knew she didn't have much longer always tried to put on a brave face for her kids. I remember sitting on the couch with her maybe 6 months before she died and her telling me she didn't want me to forget her good days. The days where we would play in the rain, listen to radio, laughing until our ribs hurt and just having fun.

My Uncle Wayne who was one of the greatest men I have ever known. He was funny, goofy as all get out, he always had something to say or do to make someone laugh. He was just full of love for everyone he cared about. I don't think there is anything he wouldn't do to see the people he loved happy. I think the thing that sticks in my mind the most is how much he loved my Aunt Barb. He loved her more than anything in this world and you could see it in everything he did, you could see it in his face when he looked at her. I don't think I ever told him how much I loved him or thanked him for helping me have the courage to get out of a really bad situation. What I wouldn't give to have one of his hugs and be able to tell him. The shamrock I have tattooed on my hand is for him, his Bday was on St Pattys day, and now I will always have my good luck charm with me everywhere I go.

Well I think I have tortured you enough with my post so I will close this one for now. I do want to leave you with a few things to ponder on though. Make sure to tell the people you love that you love them, you can never say I love you enough and you never know when you wont have the chance again. As silly as it may seem keep a journal and make sure you describe the people in your life in great detail. I wish I had done that so that my girls could know just how amazing these people were. Over time I have lost a lot of the details that I want them to know, a smile, the way their laugh sounded, their scent when you hugged them. Later on you will long for those little details at least I know I do. Pictures, take lots of pictures. They will help capture at least some of those details that can slip away from you. You know the saying love like there is no tomorrow, laugh like no one is listening and dance like no one is watching? I can't agree with all of that saying. I think we should love like there is no tomorrow, laugh like everyone is listening, and dance like everyone is watching. I don't want to be remembered as someone who held back because of what someone might think about me.

Peace, Love, and Cupcakes