As a mom and maybe more so as a single mom it is hard to accept that our kids have to grow up sometime, right? Well, I know for me it is. I have been told that I shelter my girls too much, that I need to cut the cord, and many other wonderful phrases that people love to say. I just think this world is moving way too fast now days and that kids aren't allowed to be kids anymore. Kids have enough thrown at them with school, peer pressure, puberty, and everyday chores.
Kids will at some point start talking about how they like other boys/girls, and that will lead to them asking when they can have boyfriends/girlfriends. At least it did for my girls, is that how it happened for you other parents? Do your kids come and talk to you about these things? I have had notes left on my desk telling me about a special boy and "he likes me and I like him and can I please be his girlfriend. Kids need to make mistakes to learn mom." LOL bless their hearts, using my words against me.
Well, Sierrah being a little older and in high school, I thought it may be time to let her venture into having a boyfriend. *Insert moms breaking heart here* I set all the ground rules and the consequences if the rules are broken. Let me tell you, when we moved to our new place the hormone filled boys came out of the woodwork, it was almost like sharks circling my babies. There were young pups just learning to swim on their own, adolescent hunters who were checking out the new girls, and seasoned veterans out to get their pectoral fins on my babies lovely lady lumps. There were a few that stood out from the crowd, but I can't make all my girls decisions for them. I can steer them, hint to them, give subtle clues sometimes, but in this case I let them make their own decision....sort of.
Back to Sierrah now. I have to say her first choice was not what I would have ever picked for her, I think it was her not wanting to hurt someones feelings by saying no maybe. I could definitely tell there was someone she liked much more, and he liked her too. He is a good boy, respectful, sweet, kind, funny, and considerate. Well they are now "dating" and while he may be a bit older than her that doesn't bother me much. He came to me and asked my permission to be her boyfriend, he listened to my rules and even added a few of his own, he listened to my threats if he broke the rules and didn't pee himself, though he did shake like a leaf. He goes to high school and works 2 jobs after school. This young man has dreams and ambitions and I like that! I like that he is comfortable with us that he likes to spend his free time around here hanging out. I like that he cares enough about my daughter that he has spent weeks asking her friends about her, her likes and dislikes, and that he thinks about her enough to show her that he does think about her.
Sierrah's first rose from a boy! |
If you have any advice for myself on this whole dating thing please feel free to share, this is all new to me! Or if you have any wise words for Miss Sierrah also feel free to share!
Peace, Love and Cupcakes
Hi new friend!
ReplyDeleteI raised a boy, but I will share what I remember from being a young woman (and from what I've learned as an old woman).
As young woman, we are programmed to look for the strong, virile, tough-guy because that means strong babies. After we have children, we get reprogrammed to look for the nice guy who will stick around, help us care for the babies and hopefully, care for us.
If we understand this hormonal drive when we are younger, it might help us rise above it to find the nice guy sooner. We aren't the people we used to be and making "strong babies" is pretty much a given. So we can relax, take our time and find the nice guy to spend our lives with.
Now I realize this is too gross to discuss with your daughter (maybe not?) but if you find a way, it might help.
Good luck Mom!
Elizabeth, I completely agree with everything you said! I know I looked for the rough and tough guys, the bad boys when I was younger. As I've grown older I just want someone who is gonna be a man and not a deadbeat, someone who will stand beside me through thick and thin.
DeleteI'm very open with my girls so this is definitely something I can and will share with her. Thank you!