I hope that everyone had a great holiday season and that your new year is the best it can be. With all the busy things and life going on through the holidays I got a bit behind on posting, I am sorry for that. I will tell you that this year will be different for me, no matter what tries to get in my way! I have a newly found determination in me that I can hopefully keep going throughout the year.
My first determination is to be healthier. Yeah I know everyone says that, but with somethings I have seen I WILL do it! I also plan on sharing my journey through what I am sure will be an up and down battle for me. I have lived my life my way for so long that it may take friends and family reminding me that I HAVE to do this not only for me, but for the kids too. The pictures below will show you the results of a lab workup I had and very recently got the results of....NOT GOOD. The numbers marked in red are the extreme, the yellow are on the high and the green are the ok side.
As you can see just by the colors on those pages, I have a bunch of changes to make. I got these results on Christmas Eve on my way to celebrate with the family. It was a shock to me and it still is. I have cried, thought, cried, tried to sleep it away, cried and cried some more. I also thought, if this is how bad my labs are what about the kids? We eat the same things and it scares me to death to know that I have put my kids on the same path as myself. The only good part about my labs are that my thyroid is good. The doctor explained that I am prone to alot of this due to genetics, but I am not going to just say ok to that. I am going to fight my butt off to try to get some of this fixed or at least better. I want to see my future waaaaaaay in the future grandbabies, possibly great grandbabies. I want to do things in my life and with my kids, I don't want to die of a heart attack or have a stroke and be a burden to them.
I have decided to go on a low buy for awhile. There are a small group of ladies who are doing it together. I have already gotten some much needed advice, ways to curb my impulses, and an awesome support system. I need a new camera, mine is 12 years old and doesn't work very well anymore. I will share with you my rules I have set for myself.
*Since my blog has turned into more of a show off polish blog I am going to set a $ amount I am allowed to spend on polish. This will include handmade and mainstream polishes. I am going to say that I am allowed to spend $20 a month on polish.
*I am also a hair product whore, so I am on a no buy for hair products until I use all of it that I have stashed, which is alot.
*My next weakness is doing a ton of swaps or gifting polishes(7-12 a month) with people. I am going to cut down to allowing myself 2 swaps per month. I am doing this because I truly am weak when it comes to doing swaps, I normally go out and buy polishes for the swaps and go way over what the limit set was which also jacks the shipping prices up even more.
*I will allow myself to swap items I already have though, mainly because I know I wont want to get rid of most of my polishes LOL. (Just keeping it real :oP )
*I will allow myself to rollover any unused money from the current month to the next month.
*I will allow myself to splurge for my birthday, up to $40 that month before any rollover money.
*Any money or gift cards given to me as a gift are fair play, only because they were a gift to treat myself.
*I promise myself that if I have the urge to purchase anything online I will walk away from the computer for at least 10 minutes and take a think about it time out. That way it makes me stop before impulse spending and look at my stash to see if I really need the item or not.
This is going to be hard at times for me, but I know it will be good for me to do this. Don't worry, I have so many untried polishes that I will stay busy with those. Plus I am still allowed to receive polishes from friends and buy some polishes. Maybe I will even do some of the monthly polish challenges and contests.
I am trying to get my mental health back on track. I have been dealing with depression, anxiety attacks, some phobias that have made me feel broken and defeated. They have prevented me from doing things and at times prevented me from even leaving the house. My doctor has been trying her best to help me get it under control, but has referred me to a clinic that is specifically for mental health. That appointment is later this month and I am keeping the hope that they will figure it out and get the medicines right. I want to feel "normal" again, I want to love life again and be able to deal with the things it throws at me better.
I want to be a better daughter, sister, aunt, friend and neighbor. I try to help people as much as I can, that is just how I am. I want people to see that kind acts don't always have to cost something. I want my girls to have big, loving, kind hearts. I want them to be proud that they are considerate and respectful of others. I can invite neighbors for dinner, bake them cookies, take trash out for them. There are so many lonely people who live right around me, and it makes me sad to think that I could have made a difference in the last 6 months I have lived here and haven't. I miss the closeness that I had with my nieces and nephews. I miss them coming to me to talk about problems or good things that happen to them. I miss my sisters! I miss going to lunch or dinner with them, I miss the feeling you get when they wrap their arms around you and tell you everything is going to be ok, or doing the same for them.
So those are some of my goals for this year. I hope that you will continue to ride along with me through the twists and turns this year. I truly love having you along with me, it makes the road less lonely.
Have you set any goals for yourself this year? If so please share them with me in the comments. If you have any tips or advice for me, please share. I love hearing from you.
Peace, Love, and Cupcakes!